I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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