Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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