If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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