I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
