If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
