i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
do herpes really smell.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
