He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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