does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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