If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
