Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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