wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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