For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
