he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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