i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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