operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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