How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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