So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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