I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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