and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
