two words: eviction party
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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