i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
