she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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