Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
