There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
