I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
