id be glad to
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
