I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize