Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
