if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
