that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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