just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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