I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
