i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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