Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
