she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
