I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
