We got so high we made milksteak
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
