Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
