whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
