I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you didnt know i had herpes?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They are going to name an STD after you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize