i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
