my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
