my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
