If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.