Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt http://tfl.nu/o754
  Replies (7) Good night (2918) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1702) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (713) Bad night (5541)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave" http://tfl.nu/shdd
  Replies (34) Good night (5580) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back" http://tfl.nu/lhve
  Replies (9) Good night (4876) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me. http://tfl.nu/n997
  Replies (15) Good night (4745) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us. http://tfl.nu/5cyi
  Replies (12) Good night (5989) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape http://tfl.nu/orsz
  Replies (17) Good night (3686) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption. http://tfl.nu/d2pl
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Think I pulled my pelvic muscle. (416): I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle. http://tfl.nu/mzl9
  Replies (6) Good night (2049) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs
  Replies (5) Good night (1661) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience. http://tfl.nu/a6s4
  Replies (5) Good night (1847) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down. http://tfl.nu/u8oc
  Replies (15) Good night (1207) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/8q5m
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/aen5
  Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (322)

Randomize