hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think i got beer on your cat.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
