Non-Jews are for practice
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
