YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave