I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.