if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"