operation harelip BJ is a go
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
