talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
