Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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