There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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