One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
