Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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