I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
