Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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