You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
