3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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