this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
