carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
