woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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