i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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