You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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