I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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