I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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