my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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