so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
